Spiritual Fitness

One of my goals is to help develop a sort of spiritual fitness course for our wounded and dispirited warriors. I am thinking of sort of a combination of a 12-step course and an Alpha course, but you don't have to be a drunk or Christian to get something from it.

The author of Man's Search for Meaning , a psychiatrist who survived a Nazi concentration camp, noticed that the people who survived were those who had a clear sense of life's meaning. Those who had no transcendent reason that made their current suffering worthwhile were those who succumbed to the horrors of imprisonment.

I rather imagine that the course will center on a search for meaning. It is an attempt to give support to those who are searching for the meaning in their own life. I also see it providing specific actionable tools and strategies for coping with the central challenges of life. Someone observed that there's nothing like a death sentence to help focus your mind.

The fact is that we're all going to die. Surprise, surprise! Before we do, it makes sense to figure out what we're here. I've been looking at a good book written by a man under a virtual death sentence: a diagnosis of terminal cancer. Here are my notes.

The Last Lecture
By Barry Pausch, Ph.D.

Many professors give talks titled "The Last Lecture." They are asked to
consider their death and ruminate on what matters most to them. Audiences
ask themselves the same question: What wisdom would we impart to the
world if we knew it was our last chance? If we were to vanish tomorrow, what
would we want as our legacy?

When Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, was
asked to give such a lecture, he didn't have to imagine it as his last, since he
had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But the lecture he
gave--"Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams"--wasn't about dying. It was
about the importance of overcoming obstacles, of enabling the dreams of
others, of seizing every moment (because "time is all you have...and you may
find one day that you have less than you think"). It was a summation of
everything Randy had come to believe. It was about living.

Randy was known as the best lecturer among computer scientists at the
university, an honor he said was equivalent to being recognized as the tallest of
the Seven Dwarfs.

Asking himself what was unique and special about his life, Pausch realized that
what was special about him were his dreams from childhood.

“All the things I loved were rooted in my childhood dreams. My uniqueness ,
I realized came in the specifics of all the dreams from incredibly meaningful to
decidedly quirky-- that defined my forty six years of life. If you can dream it,
you can do it.: Walt Disney

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how to play them.

Just because you're in the driver's seat doesn't mean you have to drive over
people. Kids more than anything else need to know their parents loved them.
It is important to have specific dreams

He admired Captain Kirk and thought he defined the ideal leader. He later
met William Shatner and thought him "the ultimate example of a man who
knew what he didn't know, was perfectly willing to admit. It and didn't want
to leave until he understood. That's heroic to me. I wish every grad. student
had that attitude.”

“'Tenacity is a virtue, but it's not always crucial for everyone to observe how
hard you work at something.”

Before visiting the man who could say yes to his desire to be an Imagineer, he
did 80 hours of homework, talking to his most knowledgeable contacts.

A friend who cared enough to be honest, “put his arm around me and say
"Randy, it's such a shame that people perceive yours being arrogant, because
it's going to limit what you're going to be able to accomplish in life"

Brick walls are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out. The
brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want
something.

When the woman he loved and was courting told him she did not love him,
Randy was supportive, acted as a good friend, showing concern for her. He
sent her a dozen roses and wished her happiness. She finally figured out that
she loved him after all.

In an interview with Amazon.com, he talked about what he had learned as an
adult.

Amazon.com: You talk about the importance--and the possibility!--of following your
childhood dreams, and of keeping that childlike sense of wonder. But are there things
you didn't learn until you were a grownup that helped you do that?

Pausch: That's a great question. I think the most important thing I learned as I
grew older was that you can't get anywhere without help. That means people
have to want to help you, and that begs the question: What kind of person do
other people seem to want to help? That strikes me as a pretty good
operational answer to the existential question: "What kind of person should
you try to be?"

Amazon.com: One of the things that struck me most about your talk was how many
other people you talked about. You made me want to meet them and work with
them--and believe me, I wouldn't make much of a computer scientist. Do you think
the people you've brought together will be your legacy as well?

Pausch: Like any teacher, my students are my biggest professional legacy. I'd
like to think that the people I've crossed paths with have learned something
from me, and I know I learned a great deal from them, for which I am very
grateful. Certainly, I've dedicated a lot of my teaching to helping young folks
realize how they need to be able to work with other people--especially other
people who are very different from themselves.

Amazon.com: And last, the most important question: What's the secret for knocking
down those milk bottles on the midway?

Pausch: “Two-part answer:
1) long arms
2) discretionary income / persistence

Actually, I was never good at the milk bottles. I'm more of a ring toss and
softball-in-milk-can guy, myself. More seriously, though, most people try these
games once, don't win immediately, and then give up. I've won *lots* of
midway stuffed animals, but I don't ever recall winning one on the very first
try. Nor did I expect to. That's why I think midway games are a great
metaphor for life.”

One reviewer said, “It's about paying attention to what you think is important
(when asked how he got tenure early, Pausch replied, "Call me at my office at
10 o'clock on Friday night and I'll tell you") and working hard and listening
really well. It's easy to miss that last part of that in the emotion and the stories
surrounding this book, but Pausch argues that hearing what other people say
about you and your work is crucial to success and happiness. Because this is
what you get: "a feedback loop for life."

www.ourfinest.org